Conscious Discipline - What is that?

       Earlier this year I was chatting with some colleagues about the overwhelming feelings they had when it came to behavioural management and their students emotional/social needs.  I could feel their frustration, stress and desire to help their students.  Truthfully, my heart went out to them.  I think it is so common when teaching kindergarten (all grades really) to feel overwhelmed and under prepared for the needs that can walk through our doors.  Do you agree?  I know I have felt this way many times over my career.  The children that walk through our doors, walk right into our lives and take hold of a tiny piece of our heart.  There is nothing we wouldn't do to help them grow and become happy, contributing, wonderful members of society.  But the question always remains...what can we do?  Where do we go when we need help?

       Over the course of the last few months I have had the opportunity to work with a team of educators using the Conscious Discipline program.   I remember hearing about this program over the years.  I can't recall anything specific that I knew about it, but for some reason it just popped into my head one day while I was thinking about this team.  So, I googled it.  And thus began this amazing journey that I would like to share with you.

       Before we begin, I am not an expert.  I am not certified to teach or instruct any courses on Conscious Discipline.  I am an educator who has purchased the book, watched the videos, and tried to support some colleagues as they implement this program.  I am a Mom of 3, and I can relate to all of the things Dr. Becky Bailey talks about in the book.  In fact, if you were to look inside my book you would see things highlighted, circled and starred with words like "WOW!", "That's me!" and "OUCH!" written in the margins.  It is an honest and heart felt tool for examining your own behaviour, your parenting, and in my case my teaching practise.  I am so inspired by my learning that I am compelled to share it with you.  If your interest is peaked, perhaps you will begin your own journey.  My plan is to share snippets with you, short posts highlighting my learning and thoughts.  I will do my best to convey my understandings of Conscious Discipline, but will also add in my own reflections and opinions.  Please note that these posts are not going to go into great detail.  You will need to buy the books and watch the videos for that ;)

       Let's start at the very beginning.

If we think of the brain as having 3 parts/states (not based on actual neuroscience - but just to keep it simple).......we have:

The Survival State

The Emotional State

The Executive State

       The Survival State is the one that we will often react out of.  It is the one where a child will hit, kick or bite.  They may even do the opposite and withdraw (run away, hide or shut down).  This is where our brain will go to when we feel threatened.  If a child is hit, they will respond by hitting back, kicking, etc.  The survival state is not always bad.  For example, if someone throws a rock at your head...you duck...that was your survival state kicking in.  Had you paused to think about the pros/cons of ducking, the other options available to you, etc (Executive State), it would have been too late.  You would have gotten a rock in the head.  Thank goodness for the Survival State!

       The Emotional State is one where we operate with verbal aggression.  For me, this is where I see a lot of students (and adults/parents).  It is a step up from the survival state, but still not ideal.  Behaviours we might see if one is operating from here is attention-seeking, name calling, and so on.  As a parent, if I have asked my child to get into the car 5 times and they are still outside doing cartwheels in the grass (can you tell that this has happened to me?), if I respond by saying "Get your behind into this car immediately or I will leave without you", then I am operating from my Emotional State.  If a child is in this sate and they are hit, they may respond with "I hate you.  You're stupid."

       The Executive State is the optimal learning state.  Dr. Bailey refers to it as the CEO of the brain.  This is where we want to be, and where we want our students to be.  The purpose of Conscious Discipline is get our students into this state for as much time as possible.  It is the state where we can make decisions, take in new learning, and gain understanding.  If a child is in this state and someone hits them, they will respond by saying "I don't like it when you hit me, please stop".

       Throughout the book Dr. Bailey gives examples of what each state might present as.  She also outlines what the person in each states needs in order to be able to move up to the next state, eventually finding themselves in the Executive State - ready for optimal learning.  Isn't that the goal of our day as educators?  Don't we want to know ways to move our students into the optimal state for learning?  Do you feel like you spend your day policing and "putting out fires" rather than teaching?  This is what I am hearing from my colleagues.  This is why I am so curious about Conscious Discipline.

Stay tuned for the next post where we will unpack more about how these states impact student learning, and what we can do help students get to (or stay in) that Executive State.

Please check out www.consciousdiscipline.com for more details and to order the book if interested.